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reflections: my voice  Urban Practice, Testing My Skills March 2008 Today was like any other day. I woke to the beep-beep-beep of my alarm clock, stumbled down the hall to get my lemon tea and wound my way back to my living room to do my sitting practice in front of the fireplace. Nothing unusual. Sitting, breathing, mind wandering, tasks, lists, back to breathing, sitting, feeling the sensation in my hip, ankle, shoulders. Relax the shoulders. Breathing. And on it went until the timer released me. Nothing special today. I continued on with my morning routine and when I left the house I felt ready and prepared to go teach the first of three classes. What I wasn’t prepared for was to not find my car when I searched the street for it. I wandered our street with yoga mats hanging over my shoulders, looking like a lost kitty. Nothing to be found. I went back inside and checked with my husband to see if he remembered where the car was. No….I made the quick maneuver to use his car to get to class on time. As I drove through Oakland I pondered the thought that my car was stolen. That’s what had happened. My car had been taken in the last 24 hours. As the realization occurred to me, I noticed the mind wanted to negate the idea. No, I’d just misplaced the car. Though that seemed ridiculous. Stolen. That is what happened. I arrived calm and collected to the studio, taught a good class and was surprised to witness the calm with which I was moving through the day given the new information. My mood hadn’t changed. I was in a good, even jovial mood. I noticed my task list had grown with new items on it: Call the police, call the insurance, buy a club for the other car, negotiate with my husband about using the car for the next few days. The only thing I can attribute my calm to is my practice. This is why I practice. To be able to swim through the rough currents of life and glide right past the big boulders with the stroke of an oar and miss the capsized boat of over-dramatization and hysteria about things I can’t control. I reflected on how I reacted 20 years ago when my car was stolen from in front of my apartment in San Francisco. I was a basket case. I cried, I ranted, I couldn’t believe it, I felt indignant and betrayed. I worried about getting to work on time. I am so glad to not be in that place anymore. Today’s incident has given me a chance to reflect on the true benefits of my yoga and meditation practices. I see how these years of practice has led me to feel calmer, more centered, less anxious and nervous, less irritated. Not that I don’t have my days, but as a general rule I have more room and spaciousness for all that comes my way. I know meditation changes the biochemistry in the brain and ignites a relaxation response. What I find interesting is that it seems to have an accumulative effect. While I’m not happy to have more things added to my task list, I am quite thrilled to see so clearly the effects of my practice. It’s taken me a long time to establish a consistent sitting practice, and today’s incident shows me the benefit to the time spent sitting on the cushion. I see how this practice not only affects my own life, but it affects all those I come in contact with. Whether they know it or not, they experience the benefits of my sitting practice. Namaste, Diane |
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